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I'm finally playing FFVI! Or FFIII, if you prefer, but either way- the SNES fave of many is finally on its way to my brain hole. Impressions so far are: 

Terra is very cute and I like her
Locke is very cute and I like him
Gonna smooch all them moogles
Edgar flirts a lot and Terra's just baffled.

I'm excited! Gonna try to play a little bit each week, at least. 
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I think part of why I struggle with drawing right now is because I'm actually...really bad at drawing things that I just like to draw. Like, I'm pretty chill with drawing Okami fanart because that's mostly just...dogs. It's self-indulgent but it's kinda like, RELATIVELY tied to canon I guess? So it's not super duper indulgent and I don't feel like a shitty fan/artist for drawing them good ol' dogs. Same with Zelda, I mostly just draw Could be Canon Tame Stuff, and again, I do LIKE drawing it but...Man, I'd like to branch out more. Gather up some courage to draw other fave characters, pairings I like, and the many, many, MANY AUS that I want to write but am always too MMMMMMM WHO ELSE IS INTERESTED IN THIS to talk about. 

I still need to work on those two FFIX roleswitch ones, because those are fun to think about. Even if one of them is just an excuse to draw a single scene. 

I wanna be freer with what I draw, dang it. Gotta work on that. Gotta draw som titty.  
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WE'RE OFF TO FIGHT THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT OF WORK AND PENSIONS

HAAAAAAAAAAA they fucking lost my brother's irreplaceable paperwork; the paperwork that was specifically requested back because it's irreplaceable. The paperwork that contains every bit of evidence of his diagnoses for autism, deafness and various other ailments. The paperwork that could kill a small dog if dropped from a sufficent height.

AAAAND they lost it.

I am beyond furious. I am so angry I've looped around to a weird sort of energetic euphoria where I'm ready to tear my shirt off and charge at them, tits out and ready for slaughter. They accuse my brother of lying, they accuse ME of lying, and now they've lost that paperwork, which we've had for OVER 15 YEARS.

For reference, my brother has advanced hearing loss and autism, in addition to TERRIBLE depression and suspected bipolar disorder. And that's not enough for the DWP. I'd love to know what IS enough, considering that apparently LOSING YOUR DAMN LEGS ISN'T.

Sigh. Fuck the DWP.   
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I don't want to call it an art block because...I don't think it IS an art block, but I have almost zero ideas I want to create and maybe 0.2% motivation to create them. And, sure, that's probably related to depression (and a long waiting list for therapy, increasing police raids on the area, that fucking neighbour that thinks 1am is a great time to start shouting across the road) but it just feels...a bit more empty? Like I'll open a document and just like, oh, okay, not happening I guess.

Buuuut I do want to try and watch/read/play more stuff so I can try and refill those creative banks. I'm still going to finish inktober, and I'm going to keep writing little snippets of assorted fics (even if they're never finished), but I might use the rest of this year for like...i don't know what to call it; technical development, snippets, learning to draw NC-17 stuff? Something like that. I'd like to be more confident drawing and writing things I like. 

so yeah, if anyone has any recommendations for stuff i should look through, i'd love to hear them! At the moment I think I'll be going through some of my old faves. Maybe I'll write up some little reviews for them too. 

Until then though, I do have the first chapter of a fic I've been planning since BOTW came out and I lost myself to it for like. three months. Because hoo boy, game, you can't give me cute enemies and then NOT let me befriend them.  
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I talked to a pretty lady in a shop and she said I was cute......

I'm gonna.....fall over now....

My tiny bi heart can't take this....................................

oh no

Oct. 5th, 2017 01:46 am
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ooooooh no

Osomatsu san is back

i have never watched this show, prolly never will, but with the matsu brothers comes

The Drama
 
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Thinks 'spiritual growth' occurs by sending a sleepy kid into a dream world, with no weapons, and a lot of insta-kill robots. Four times.

Gives the child a robot that may not fully grasp emotional nuance, but does grasp insults, and will use them if he fucks up enough.

Threw off her godly power to kick the shit out of a dude, somehow got the godly power back, and then proceeded to do close to nothing until prompted by fighting.

Complete radio silence while her descendant was desperately praying to her, only to unleash a massive wave of power when her descendant decides to fight off a great evil, alone.

Only spoke to said descendant once, where she was impossible to understand, and left her with a terrible sense of unease.

Horrifically direct; there are riddles and poems about things she may want, but Hylia herself will outright tell you. A spirit of power? No, fuck off, it's a red dragon and it's name is Dinraal. Give me the scale.

Robots. Seems to like robots. At least, if the shiny material that looks like her plumes is any indication, she had something to do with building a lot of tech stuff.

Weirdly associated with fairies; Zelda can't tell if she's a fairy or a god, she's associated with power-ups and hidden areas in BOTW, the fairy fountain theme plays when skyloft falls in SS, Fi being based off the fairy queen...

Basically Hylia is ridiculous and I love her very much

Nintendo please let me fight her as a bonus boss
 

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Accidental characterisation is my favourite characterisation. 

Admittedly, that statement's assuming quite a lot- for all I know, all this stuff which I think is unintentional might've been very well planned out by the writers and they just didn't think to draw attention to it, and I'm being an asshole, but shit son- I love it when gameplay or timelines or just some random stuff leads to a picture of a character with some unlikely traits. 

By far, my favourite one of these is Hylia. According to the dialogue, Hylia is rather short-spoken, to the point, and less poetic than one might expect. She doesn't waste words.

According to the gameplay, Hylia thinks that the best way to gain 'spiritual growth' is to send a child with nothing but the clothes on his back and about twenty insta-kill robots that chase him down with cold, unfeeling gazes. And that she should have him do this four times. It absolutely tickles me. If you're like me and assume that the blue/purple/sheeny stuff in Skyward Sword is also connected to Hylia, then she seems to be a bit of a techie in general- good with building strange machines, bad with metaphorical ideas rather than literal ones.

And then if you factor in Fi, it's even funnier, bc Fi looked at BOTW Link and decided, "you know what? Hylia had a point." and then leaves you in a huge trial, naked and afraid, until you git gud. 

"I offer you this trial, that it may please Hylia"

The monks took over because no one wanted to let Hylia design another trial. 
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Depression can fuck the hell off, please and thank you, I am very tired of weight gain and random fits of crippling sadness and not being able to get out of bed. I'm going to sue the concept of depression. fuck you you piece of shit brain.  

Leg Day

Sep. 22nd, 2017 12:47 pm
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Hey is it considered alarming if I specifically push myself to the point of pain when I work out

I feel like I'm trying to flex away mental health problems. If I'm gonna be depressed I wanna be depressed and RIPPED.  

sparkles

Sep. 19th, 2017 09:32 pm
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 Am I going overboard with the sparkles in the new paper style? yes. do i care? ABSOLUTELY NOT i LOVE sparkles, they are...good. I can't wait for new stuff to arrive so I can work on some big paint pieces but til then...bless u, polygon lasso tool. textured image of a morning glory plant

sparkles!!!!
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Leg Day is just a fancy way of trying to make people fall down stairs. Or maybe that's just me. Because have nearly fallen down the stairs three times today, because my knees just occasionally give up and I have to catch myself on my far less beefy arms. goblet squats are EVIL.

Anyway, I've been trying to write/draw more smut recently and. Hoo boy. It's nervewracking considering some of the stuff people will say if you're not drawing The Right Smut so I refuse to put anything about myself on the NSFW blog. Nothing in here for you but The Titties.

Kinda happy that some people want me to continue my terrible Bloodborne smut universe though. I've got ideas for that. 
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Living

Aug. 29th, 2017 06:54 pm
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hahahahaaa i can't wait to die of a heart attack from living around here in the half-an-hour it took to walk to the shop and back, there were a great many drug dealers, several children playing in roads, several MORE children nearly being hit by cars, and a parrot that squeaked at us

please save me from this hell i want to live alone in a castle with great wifi and some cats 
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AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA i can't feel my thighs and everything is suffering someone save me there are children crying outside and im so tired. my legs are a jiggly mass of the windows death noise. i feel my soul ascend.  
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im pretty grumpy about skyward sword and i keep it to myself mostly but jesus h christ i am getting really, really annoyed at how often i see people complaining about people complaining about skyward sword. seriously for every one post i see saying anything vaguely negative about ss i see about three saying that it's a masterpiece and no one should ever hate on it ever!!!! or the "ur boring if u hate ss" and i just wanna say like...fuck off. I'm REALLY tried of seeing this shit. skyward sword was a mediocre game at best imo, a prime example of a writing trend that quite honestly needs to fuck off, and has one of the most obnoxious fanbases of any zelda.

and im fucking including oot in that.  
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You ever just...see a post and there's nothing technically wrong with it but something about how it's phrased makes you totally certain it was written by an asshole. 

And then you go onto their blog and lo and behold

An asshole
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 My mum likes Moana a lot. She enjoys the character design, the colours, the setting, and she really likes all the animals. This morning she came into my room and said that she'd actually been thinking about getting a chicken coop before remembering that there are so many foxes and cats round here that they'd probably get killed. My mum genuinely enjoys Moana more than I've seen her enjoy a disney film. 

That said, she cannot for the life of her remember the name of Moana's Island. She can remember everything else fine- Maui, Moana, Heihei and Tamatoa are all fine. Te Ka, Te Fiti? Yep, all fine. 

Motunui? She cannot get her head around it. Everything else is fine and dandy but my mother cannot for the life of her remember Motunui. 

So remember, next time you see Moana, to give a cheer for our protagonists' home- Manchester! Malta! The Maldeves!

(she'll get it eventually)

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